LJ Daily Answers: 5 January 2009

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

And a happy new year to everyone! Sure, it's five days later, but here's our first answer post to the year. Let's toast to many happy returns! Or at least a whole bunch. If we're really lucky, we can make it to July and our five-year anniversary. If not, we'll die of alcohol poisoning sometime in March. Either way, it's party time!



1. The game of skittles is sometimes known as what?

"That sounds like a euphemism for not being able to make it to the toilet on time and pooping your pants." - spiralgirl1

"Tiddly-winks. I have no reason to believe this. I just do. Are you invalidating my faith? You'd better not be." - lookingforwater

"Candyland" - majorsamfan. fmh

"skizzizlizzles, if you're Snoop Dog." - newbia

"Bowling? It is isnt it? It's bowling!!! STRIKE!!!" - meloglas

(Almost. Bowling is tenpins. This is... less. -CV)

"...the part where I just spent an inappropriate amount of time trying to see if I could remember another name for that dorky math game I used to play all the time before remembering that the game in question was sprouts, not skittles, probably says something about how I chose to spend my time in high school. Or how bad my memory is. Whatever." - slaygirl

"Is that the game where you throw skittles you licked at people who incessantly talk during movies at the theatre? Never knew that had a name." - blacksunrising

(At least you're not shooting them instead. - TL)

"If you stand on the Captain's deck of an aircraft during a naval drill, you get to watch all the little guys running about on deck in jumpsuits that are colour coded to their particular job. From the deck, it looks like someone spilled a bag of Skittles. It's hysterical. " - canuckdesz

"Skittles == Taste the rainbow, therefore my answer is cunnilingus." - woap

"Gay sex! No really, here's my logic: skittles='taste the rainbow', rainbows=gay pride ergo skittles='taste the gay pride' which really just sounds like a classy way to tell someone to do non-PG things to your body." - greatleaps

(Way to be true to your username, btw. - TL)

"Any game played with skittles soon becomes Hungry Hungry Hippos around my family." - mcclintock

"Mmm, skittles. I might as well duct tape them directly to my thighs because that is where they are going." - lots42

"OCD. When I play Skittles, it involves separating them into piles by color, and then eating them in pairs." - kaitimae

"Holy crap, skittles the size of bowling balls...I've got dibs on the orange ones." - songbird06

"I don't know, but those new weird flavors of Skittles candies kind of freak me out. Chocolate Skittles is a combination I do not want!" - cassildra

(+1, TOTAL AGREEMENT - TL)

"Bowling for Rainbow Brite" - ntlespino

"Bowling, or as it's now more commonly known, bathroom, from the aroma often emanating from the local lane." - seferin

"Nine pins. We had to play this as part of some third-grade "Ole English" reenactment something. Since I haaaaaated stuff like that, I've repressed all memory. However, we all got bags of the candy at the end, and that made it all right. And then Dennis Planter ate too many and threw up everywhere. Taste the rainbow, indeed." - juliamac

Correct Answer: Ninepins



2. Which 1959 Ed Wood film features aliens who made zombies out of the recently dead?

"Hehe. You said 'wood'." - songbird06, a_l_p_h_a_b_e_t

(I really should have seen that coming. -CV)

"Deadwood? Torchwood? Woody Allen? No, wait, I just *wish* he was recently dead." - etcet

"Isn't calling anything Ed Wood did a 'film' a bit of an exaggeration?" - grayjedi

"I kinda want to watch it now based on the description. Aliens, zombies and creepy lighting make for a coolness rating of OVER NINE THOUSAND." - wrestlingdog

(What was that power level? -CV)

"I find myself incapable of saying 'from outer space' without drawing out the last word and mentally adding reverb. (I have the same problem with 'Bed, Bath, and Beyond'.)" - darthparadox

"Leave It To Cadaver" - its_what_we_are

"March of the Wood-en Soldier" - majorsamfan

"The zombies are people! PEOPLE!" - lots42

"I was born in 1959,and am feeling recently dead two days into the year, so, Ray?" - captainsblog

"Little known fact is that Frost/Nixon used the same filiming techniques of using the actual zombies as actors. I hear Zombie Nixon is up for all kinds of awards." - mcclintock

(I'd vote for Zombie Nixon. "I promise you zombies more raw human flesh than any president since Roosevelt!" -CV)

"I wasn't the only one who noticed a lot of those alien films looked like they'd found costumes by raiding the fetish shops, right?" - portkey

"Why would aliens want to make zombies out of Humans? I can imagine it now... "Hey, these weird creatures on this little blue planet keep on dying. That's no fun. Let's reanimate them! FOR SCIENCE!"" - morgana006

"Attack of the Killer Tomatoes From Planet 9 in Outer Space With a Side of Spiders." - stagemanager

"Plan 9 From Outer Space. Which is different from 'The Spirit', which is so bad that it made dead zombies out of recently living audience members." - tony101

(+1, too true. Although sometimespez thought that honor should go to "Pearl Harbor". -CV)

Correct Answer: "Plan 9 From Outer Space"

"Plan 8 has something to do with snakes and commercial jetliners, but was dismissed as 'too impractical'." - l33tminion

"much better than the sequel 'Plan 10 from Outer Space: Plan Harder'" - mujubius



3. What is the oldest standing bridge crossing the river Seine in Paris?

"The Bridge of Death" - 6 of you, most of whom answered all 3 6 questions.

"The Bridge On The River Kwai? No, wait ... bridge over troubled waters? No, that's not it. Bridge To Terebithia? " - grayjedi

"The Bridge over the River Quoi" - freezer818

"It is the bridge made of stones named after Charles DeGaulle, known as DeGaulle Stones. " - drbear

"You mean to tell me that France has not burned ALL of its bridges? (oo, -1 for bad polisci joke...)" - sifrid

(No, that was a good one. – LL)

"It is NOT London Bridge. Because that's in London." - its_what_we_are

(London Bridge is actually in Arizona. – LL)

"I guess the French are better engineers than the English, though, because we never sing 'Paris Bridge is falling down.'" - seekingferret

"For some reason, it surprised me that the French have bridges. (What, so they can run further away? Courez plus rapidement, chatons de la France!)" - pookykabuki

"The Pont Neuf, or Pont Narf as Pinky would say." - donutsweeper

"It is an old bridge but we call it a new bridge because it is better than all of your silly bridges built by your elderberry smelling fathers and hamster mothers. Neuf said." - mujubius

"What was that bridge where the guy who invented quarternions had his breakthrough? I remember he was walking along when the equations came to him, and he pulled out his knife and carved them into the stone of the bridge then and there. Wait, that was in England. Then I have no idea." - packbat

(Wrong on both counts. That's the Broom Bridge in Dublin you're thinking of. Tsk. – LL)

"Why does Paris only have one famous bridge? Because one bridge is a Neuf." - oldstarnewshine

"It's looming over that river in a most disgusting fashion! It's truly Ob-Seine!" - mattwolf
"Lucky it didn't fall in. Nobody wants a crazy bridge--one that's In Seine." - puredeadthingy, lookingforwater
"Why did they build an asylum in the Parisian river? Because all the patients were in-Seine." - darthparadox, canuckdesz
"'The bridge of In-Seine-ity! *insert Wallace Shawn laugh here* No one can ever hope to cross the river in time to rescue the Princess now.'" - traveller_blues
"The Seine-aisle, for those really old bridges." - sparklinblossom

"They should make an inflatable version you can bounce on, call it Ponte de Nerf, there could be money there." - fmh

Correct Answer: Pont Neuf

(Yes, in this case the word "neuf" refers to "new" and not "nine", but it's still the same word. Neat! -CV)



4. What object, sometimes referred to as "the captain's daughter", suggests "perfect punishment and atonement" according to Robert L. Ripley?

"This reminds me that I need to take my girlfriends shopping for sex toys. Thanks, LJDQ!" - babybokal

(Great job, us. -CV)

"I'm sorry, 'Robert L. Ripley' is too perfect a name. I roll to disbelieve." - packbat

(Critical fumble. Next on Ripley's "Believe It Or Not". -CV)

"My strange 10-year-old self always figured the drunken sailor was being put to bed with the Pushkin novel and I've made no effort to change that notion, so I have no idea." - greatleaps

"Why a lash would be called anyone's daughter ('cept maybe Indiana Jones) I dunno..." - wiredwizard

"Probably the Captains really ugly daughter. He threatens the crew that whoever misbehaves has to marry her. That'll keep any sailor crew in line especially when there are pretty wenches to be had." - blacksunrising

"that would be the jager shot" - blackfrances

"....Han...Hannah...Miley...Cyrustana...?" - sifrid

"Keira Knightley." - megaton_souffle

"I had the captain's daughter in my pants once. She was driving me nuts. Wait, is that how that joke goes?" - forgedpixels

"Being forced to listen to Iron Maiden during one's final moments in an iron maiden." - spiralgirl1, adria_rhiannon
"Iron Maiden? Ex-cellent!" - david_deacon

"Vagina Dentata - what a wonderful phrase...
Vagina Dentata - ain't no passin' craze...
It means no weiner, for the rest of your days...
It's a penis-free, girl-cavity...
Vagina Dentata!" - eyeharvester

"The only maritime punishment ... I'm aware of is being Keel-Hauled, which is possibly the most bad-ass fuckery a bunch of pissed-off folks can inflict on one of their own. 'We're gonna tie you up, spread-eagled, and then DRIVE THE FUCKING BOAT OVER YOU. If you don't drown, or get cut in half from the barnacles we haven't had a chance to scrape off the keel, and aren't eaten by sharks as you get dragged behind the boat, bleeding and possibly broken, all is forgiven.' MAN WHAT. Sailors today are fucking _pussies_ compared to that shit." - etcet

"" - germankitty

"Believe it or not, a feline with more than eight but less than ten stories." - majorsamfan

"The Cat 'o' Nine Tails. Interestingly, only bred in Chernobyl and Alabama." - mujubius

"A cat'o'nine tails is utterly unnecessary in this house, where a cat'o'one'puke is quite capable of causing just as much agony." - captainsblog

Correct Answer: Cat o' Nine Tails

"The cat o' nine isn't entirely perfect. If it were perfect, it would put itself away to avoid embarrassing revelations." - woap



5. Fun with lyrics! Name the song and the band:
To worry, worry, super-scurry.
Call the troops out in a hurry.
This is what we've waited for.
This is it boys, this is war.

"I think orange juice will help with that scurvy thing." - akiyasan

"Faster than a speeding snail! Able to lift 50 times its own weight! Is it a bird? A plane? No, you idiot, get your eyes checked. It's Super-Scurry, the Radioactive Fire Ant!" - forgedpixels

"Is Super-Scurry one of the superheroes the Flash outraced at the Superhero Olympics?" - seekingferret

"Super-scurry is actually the name of a type of nuclear bomb. They wanted something cute and uplifting." - newbia

"I Wanna Iraq, by Twisted Mister President" - drbear

"DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE, STING?
QUOTING THE SONGS OF OBSCURE MEN;
THIS IS THE ANSWER OF THE PEOPLE
WHO HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT THE ANSWER IS _AGAIN_." - etcet

(+1, Les Miserables. -CV)

"99 cold bottles of beer, floating in my cooler here
Captain Kirk is on the TV, boinking another alien girl
Swimming in my backyard pool, on a blow-up dinosaur
Dreaming about the summer time, as 99 bottles of beer go by." - a_l_p_h_a_b_e_t

(+2, starting with beer. And dinosaurs. -CV)

"This is probably a Nine Inch Nails song, but reading those lyrics didn't make me instantly want to kill myself because I am worthless and everyone hates me, so I can't be sure." - oldstarnewshine

"ABBA - Super Troopers Pt II" - its_what_we_are

"Luftballoons are boring, but luftwaffles sound delicious." - woap

"I'd like to point out that Nena is not a band, but a singer. And counting her boobs as members does not work!" - b_hulsmans

(Ok, perhaps I should have said "artist", but I just like saying "band". Besides, it throws people off. And yes, her boobs count. Boobs ALWAYS count. -CV)

"I can't tell if it's celebratory or condemnatory. But the lyrics are so bad it probably doesn't matter." - puredeadthingy

(Eh, it was the 80's. Things were crazy back then. -CV)

"Learn to post in German, LJDQ!" - mathnerd

(Fine. Hast du etwas Zeit fuer mich, dann singe ich ein Lied fuer dich, von neunundneunzig Luftballons auf ihrem Weg zum Horizon...' That's right. That's from memory and not a Google lyric search. -1 for doubting my skills. Ok, fine, I ignored the umlauts. I'm just being lazy. -CV)

"99 Luftballons. In English. By that band with the lead singer who can hide nukes in her armpit hair." - adria_rhiannon

"NINETY NINE SUCH LOFT BALLONS!" - ifeedformula
"99 Luftansa's" - canuckdesz
"99 Luft Hans Ass" - captainsblog

"99 Red Balloons, Germany's heartfelt tribute to the day Hasselhoff told the Baywatch cast not to bother with sunblock." - mujubius

"Everyone's a Captain Kirk. Now go put your boots on and pause dramatically." - theninth

"You know, it wasn't until I was twenty-one that I actually realised it was about the cold war. I thought it was about an alien invasion where the UFOs looked like red ballons and yes. ...I'm quite good at that whole, 'What, we live in REALITY?' thing, really." - ryttu3k

Correct Answer: Nena, "99 Red Balloons"

"even the Apocalypse can be sexy and fun if sung about in German." - donutsweeper



6. We ask all the time: what's your plan for the new year?

"To work from home, institute Hugh Hefner Day (Work in pajamas), drop ten percent fat by volume, and go up a peg or two on Maslow's hierarchy of needs. " - seferin

"Driving the seven hours home from frozen Scotland to slightly-less-frozen England. Whee... " - puredeadthingy

(Should have taken the Night Train… - LL)

"January: be awesome. February: be awesome. March: take a break. April: be awesome. The whole year pretty much continues in that vein. I'll be almost as awesome as the LJDQ mods (who don't take breaks from being awesome). " - rikchik

"New Years Eve? Rockband and Alcohol. The rest of the year... Rockband and Alcohol but with some work and stuff thrown in." - tarpo

"To live forever or die in the attempt. " - drbear

"Rule you all with an Iron Fist. OBEY THE FIST!" - cholma

"I just don't want to get pregnant. " - sifrid
"Dear Sweet Lord, I just want to have a baby this year. Just one of the many, many nights that involves my hot husband and me resulting in a friggin baby, PLEASE. " - its_what_we_are

"Crush my enemies, see them drive before me, and hear the lamentation of their women. Or apply to law school. Probably just apply to law school. Wait, that's the same thing. Nevermind. " - lookingforwater

"I do not make resolutions, as quotably noted in this space last week. My intention to [censured due to adult nature of content] to [censured due to National Security concerns] and [censured due to adult nature of content] to [censured to protect the innocent] notwithstanding, I have some fairly lofty fitness goals (run a 15k, bench press twice my bodyweight, see my goddamned abs; that sort of shit) and a couple of Seekrit Projects of an online nature that will, in the best Discordian tradition be Step Two on the three-step path to 3. PROFIT!" - etcet

"Dude, MUMMERS! Dozens of overweight, middle-aged guys are going to prance down Broad Street with sequins, feathers, umbrellas, and musical instruments! And people wonder why Philly is so fucking awesome! " - wrestlingdog

"Work like I don't need money, love like I've never been hurt, dance like no one's watching, and kill everybody who has a poster, painting, card, or magnet with that cheesy saying on it. " - newbia

(I can be your alibi. – LL)

"START UNI OMG. I swear, I'm the only one excited about starting uni-level Chemistry. Ooh! Peptides! " - ryttu3k

(They make a great cake, especially with mint frosting. – LL)

"Dexter marathon and drinking game: A sip every time Dexter kills, a sip every time a main character kills someone, a sip every time someone says the "f" word, and a full shot every time Doakes says the "f" word. I'M GOING TO DIE." - silent_r_infork

"I will marry either Tom Selleck, Clint Eastwood, or Alan Rickman. We shall drink aged scotch together and they will be disgruntled and old and I love them. " - pookykabuki

"If I told you that you'd drive up the price of frozen concentrated orange juice and ruin my plan! " - squeegibo

"Well, I actually wanted to dance all night but in the end I ended up spending the entire night -- til 6 am when I went to sleep -- avoiding tequila worms and tipsy 25 year old's who slip into my room because they stopped caring that I'm a)Only just 18 and b)not that into them. " - lucky_lyon

"My plan was to go out to a party and meet new people, but I stayed home and watched Stargate SG-1. I lead a sad, sad life. " - starryeyes203

(Only if it was season 6 or later. – LL)

"I ended up watching Poultrygeist with several other half-drunk nerds. That's a movie that should be issued with a Surgeon-General's Warning. ... " - eyeharvester

"Trying the other eight plans from question #2. " - tears_of_nienna



And there you have it. 2009 starts off with a 9-themed quiz (see? we only had six questions, but we counted them in base 9 to try and throw you off. I know; we are just that devious), and you guys brought quite a good amount of fun-filled action-packed comedy to our doorstep. A fine start to the new year, what ho!

Also, Happy Three Kings Day (or whatever it is) tomorrow for anyone who celebrates that. It's, like, important to some folks.

Thanks to all who played this week; as always, it's you who bring the funny. Hope to see you around for the rest of the year, and of course, go out there and tell your friends about the quiz. The more who play, the funnier it gets! Truly! And thanks to our lovely guest mods, lovellama and trishalynn, whose helping hands are... helpful!

Rock on!

AL&CV&LL&TL

Comments

HOLY CRAP, BATMAN!

[its-what-we-are.livejournal.com]

4 quotages?!?! If I wasn't supposed to be on the internet at work, I would totally get up on my desk and do a happy dance!

And excellent point indeed, LL. It was Tower Bridge that the dirty Yanks wanted, but the Brits were just too clever! (That's why I married one - he's sneaky!And hot...but I've already said that in this quiz, haven't I?)

[ryttu3k.livejournal.com]

Whoo, quoted twice in the first time I've posted in ages! Go me! *does the Cold War Peptide dance*

[raphsody606.livejournal.com]

Must. Try. Harder.

Re: HOLY CRAP, BATMAN!

[amymich.livejournal.com]

I noticed! YOU ARE SO THE FUNNY THIS WEEK! :D YAY Laura!

Also, I have to say, the answers this week are fucking hilarious. WTG, everyone!!

[grayjedi.livejournal.com]

Two quotes. I'm almost beginning to think I'm funny.

Almost.

[deza.livejournal.com]

I was too busy recovering from NYE to take the quiz last week. Would someone please tell me what happened to my lace undies and cami set?

Re: HOLY CRAP, BATMAN!

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Do the dance anyway. Your coworkers are sure to appreciate it. It will brighten their Monday. The first Monday of the NEW YEAR! DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNNNNN!!!!

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Ebay items #112994994 and 112994995. Free copy of your novel to the highest bidder.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

The force is strong in you, young jedi. Soon your training will be complete.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

All in good time. Unless that's you in that icon blowing a bassoon, in which case... maybe slightly more time. Or less. Bassoons are funny.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

For the record, Peptides knew how to dance back in the fifties, but their nuclear-age emo dance moves and proteinacious bodacity really hit their stride in the eighties. And rightly so.

[raphsody606.livejournal.com]

That they are! And thus the reason I began playing it.

[morgana006.livejournal.com]

One quote! It's like being asked for a dance but not being asked again. Thrilling, but almost a little disappointing.

But clearly my theory of "Anything's funnier if done FOR SCIENCE!" wins again.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

And the part of Peter's Grandfather will be played by Don Amici. He- what? He couldn't make it? Oh. Well, uh, okay... the part of the Grandfather will be played by... I dunno, a bassoon.

[germankitty]

Okay, I've started the year as I ended the last one -- with one quote. Which isn't bad, but definitely has room for improvement ... I should probably drink more gin and eat more pudding, but that won't work with my diet ... hmmm.

The big question of 2009 thus becomes, Do I want to lose weight, or get better LJDQ quotage? Decisions, decisions ....

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

The whole point of the mad scientist is to do bad things to good people MIT SCIENCE!!!!

[operatic-diva.livejournal.com]

09 Starts with a lack of funneh. Bye bye news years resolutions! D:

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

It means you've achieved balance and harmony in 2008. This is not a bad thing at all.

Pudding is, admittedly, not a very diet-friendly comestible. And playing the quiz has not yet been conclusively shown to cause any form of weight loss or fat burn. Well, ok, I do burn a few calories here and there from typing up answer posts. But that doesn't help you very much at all.

So, in summary, Quiz and Pudding.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Ah, that doesn't count. That was still last year's quiz. ;-)

[germankitty]

Does low-cal pudding still qualify as proper LJDQ nourishment, or do I lose my Quizling cred by choosing that option? (I draw the line at low-cal beer ... yuck!)

[seekingferret.livejournal.com]

Started doing the quiz a month ago. My quote totals:

0,1,1,2...

Clearly, we have a Fibonacci Sequence going here. Mods, I wish to inform you that in three weeks, your quiz will need to have at least 8 questions so I can be quoted 8 times.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

Only if you promise to do all that stuff to me again, babydoll. Hubba hubba!

[ifeedformula.livejournal.com]

I guess my answers weren't nearly as witty as I thought they were. :(




S'ok..I'm going to see the Imagination Movers in March. That makes EVERYTHING better...wait. Did I say that outloud?

[ntlespino.livejournal.com]

YES. One! This is a good start to the year!

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

But that is false! I mean, really, it wouldn't be called a FIBonacci sequence if it weren't totally lying to you. So, never fear, you'll get the correct quotage due to you. ;-)