LJ Daily Answers: 5 November 2007

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

1. What common office products are made from the fibers of the abacá plant?

"Ha, you think I work in an office? Man, I need to be free!" - puredeadthingy

"What and me without my rolling papers." - sestree

(I think you'd find it a very boring smoke. -AL)

"TPS Report Sheets, and if you could get them to me by the end of the day, that'd be grrreeaaaaat." - i_calql8
"I believe you have my stapler." - photosinensis, kestrel127

(+1, Office Space. -AL)

"Why does it say paper jam when there isn't any jam? " - akiyasan

"Tape! Tape is wonderful, tape is amazing, tape is freaking godly. I am the only person I know who carries tape in my backpack at school. I am also the most popular person in the library whenever Badass Librarian One (who really could lead the militant wing of the Salvation Army) withholds the office supplies again. See? Control the tape, control the power. " - reticent_lass

(The tape must— flow? – LL)

"You know, I planted an abacá once. I thought it was a banana tree. Really I did. They look an awful lot alike to me, and the Home Depot didn't have them labeled. I don't know what office product is made from it, but I do know that it's highly defective at producing bananas." - amorsalado

"LJDQ logic time! Abaca sounds like abacus, so the fibres must be used to make office calculators." - cmseward

"Why do I keep thinking abacus? Jesus, the last time those were common office products, Caesar was still in power! Although for some reason, that just gave me an idea for one godawful TV spin-off: The Office Rome Edition! My brain cells are dying now that I've even just typed that. Captain Morgan, here I come!" - frostycakes

"Those irritating posters with the kitten hanging from the tree. NO I WILL NOT HANG IN THERE." - littlelion2k

(Maybe you should order your office some new posters from this website. -AL)

"Is it my dry erase markers? Because they make me so very very happy at work. *sniff* Mmm... Oh, hello Mr. Pink Elephant! Did we have a meeting?" - illogicalvulcan

"I don't work in a common office, so I can't answer this question. Unless the answer is slips of paper and/or little blue pens that people like to steal. (If you use this answer I bet that every British person reading will know exactly where I work.)" - crystalcazzie

(All right, Britons: where does crystalcazzie work? +1 to the first correct answer in the comments. -AL)

"Finally, an explanation for stupid bosses. They are plant life!" - lots42

Correct Answer: Manila folders/Manila envelopes



2. The Academy Award for Best Original Song in 1986 was awarded to which song by which band?

(EDIT: Confusion with respect to the date was understandable. The Song was from 1986; however, the Academy Awards are always presented the following year, which is 1987. So... whatever. -CV)

"Oh god, the 80's. I can just imagine people slow dancing and high school dances to this song. Swaying to "take my breath away" in their odd, 80's dresses with side ponytails or otherwise very large hair." - ooyoumasha

(Thank you for mocking our childhoods. We're sending you a present to express our thanks. -AL&CV&LL>

"In 1986 I was living in the Caribbean, studying to be a veterinarian, so I had no tv, no cable -- and this was way before internets, children -- so I have no idea. Didn't the world stop rotating while I was not paying attention?" - etumukutenyak

(+1 for being older than us. -AL&CV&LL)

"'Hooked on a feeling' as covered by David Hasselhoff. I'm thinking of putting it on as the hold music for the phones at work to see how many customers really need that technical support." - photosinensis

"Wasn't it that song that Milli Vanilli stole? Evil Milli put poor, innocent Vanilli upto it." - gorghte

"Wait, a band presented an Academy Award to a song?! " - iamza

"The one that performed just before the award was presented. Isn't that the way it always works out?" - n5iln

"'Better than the original song winner in 1985' by Sting" - essencejaded
"On a related note, will he be called Stung after he's dead, since we'll be speaking about him in the past tense?" - elvenpiratelady

"All Academy awards for Best Original Song have been retro-actively awarded to Phil Collins; the song for any particular year is chosen arbitrarily. For 1986 I believe it was "I Can't Dance." The Oscar Voters were moved by the song's deep humility and utter truth." - LLEFSER

"'My God, I'm Bland' by Phil Collins and Randy Newman." - drbear

"'Jamaica's Got a Bobsled Team' from the movie Cool Runnings. I don't even know if that's from the 80s at all but god damn was that an epic movie." - geenei

"'Ouagadougou' by Ulaanbaatar. Because gratuitous use of vowels is always funny." - ataralas

"Moscow Is Awesome" - undeadgoat

"Ahhh. A song question without lyrics. Unless... the song doesn't have lyrics in the first place... (shifty eyes)..." - ntlespino

"View to a Kill, which I want to say is by Toto but with my poor memory probably isn't. " - jmthane

(::head desk:: VtaK was by Sting-- I mean Duran Duran. And it still isn't the right answer. – LL)

"I refuse to acknowledge any Tom Cruise movie other than Legend." - napier

(Now now... it's ok to give props to A Few Good Men. -CV)

"There was a song in 'Top Gun'? Really? All I noticed was Kelly McGillis. I love me some redheads. " - i_calql8

(Call me. – LL)

Correct Answer: "Take My Breath Away", Berlin



3. What is the common name for Phaseolus lunatus?

"I don't speak common names. I am above the rabble." - lustforlike

"No speak Latin. Never understood it or why it's considered vulgar. Latin's always misunderstood. Probably why it's dead." - pride4u2

"You know, I don't know about my answer to number three. It's just that I looked at it and all I could see was "phallus." It's like that all the time. Phalluses everywhere. " - vzg

(I think I'm the only mod that would appreciate that… - LL)

"I don't know, but if you rearrange the letters, you get 'u use not a phallus.' ...Is it lesbians?" - vzg

([Link is NSFW] No. -AL)

(If you've ever wondered why we frequently include a Latin name for something as a question, it's because the warped logic trails that people use to try to reason their way to an answer are ALWAYS funny. -AL&CV&LL)

"The Crazy Phaser? Dammit, LJDQ, I'm a Quizling, not a dildo repairman!" - etcet

"ex husband #2 (not to be confused with ex husband #1 Phaseolus Intoxicatus) " - sestree

"Can I get this served with a nice Chianti? " - amorsalado

"Luna moth? One time a luna moth peed on me. Never try to pick up a luna moth by the wings." - droptheleash622

"Judging from the words 'phase' and 'luna', I'm thinking that it has something to do with things going out of phase in moonlight. Which obviously makes the answer the zombie pirates from Pirates of the Caribbean." - syrazemyla

"Moon Beans. They're chockfull of antisolaroids! Also, they make you crazy." - ataralas

"Lunatus! Moon, right? So...some kind of moon...a phased moon? It's October, so the Blood Moon? Though, now that I think of it, I was an astrophysics major and have never heard this phrase. I think logic has failed me." - illogicalvulcan

"The musical fruit." - deza

"She put the 'miss' in 'misdemeanor' when she stole the beans from Lima, tell me..." - napier

"Sean Bean's illegitimate sister, Lima." - germankitty

Correct Answer: Lima Bean



4. Who was the author of "The Iron Heel", a novel about the rise of an American oligarchic regime?

"Again with the iron. And american, you really should look into the european themed questions. Or Belgian ones, those are nice, those I can answer. " - b_hulsman

(It'd be all about chocolate, detectives, and waffles…. – AL&LL)

(Considering the theme, I think we're doing pretty well at staying away from the "americanness"... -CV)

"Oligarchy? You're fooling yourself! We're living in a dictatorship! A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes..." - photosinensis

"Oligopoly would have made such a bad title for a game. Monopoly is so much cooler." - palapaloozaa

"Achilles' arch-nemesis, Sellicha!" - fictionalsolace
"The Author Previously Known As Achilles" - sestree
"Hey, if you swapped Achilles's heel for one of iron, he wouldn't have an Achilles heel." - mercuryblue144

"The same guy who wrote the Crimson Chin comic books?" - littlelion2k

"Takeshi Kaga, but the U.S. version of this book is egregiously bad." - LLEFSER

"Wilhelm Klink. No, dammit, that's the "Iron Colonel" again. " - cmseward

"Ed Gruberman, because when I saw 'Iron Heel' and all I could think of was 'boot to the head!'" - i_calql8

(+1, Boot to the Head. Always funny. -CV)

"Hey, if she'll wear the heels, I'll do the ironing. They pinch up her butt like DAYUMN!" - infinitysquared

(That... has nothing to do with anything. -CV)

"Rodney King after the cops kicked him and beat him. Of course he should have titled it "The Iron Toe" since that is where the metal is in police boots." - gorghte

"That sounds like a good book...I must resist the urge to google it until after I've posted this comment. No, I shall not fall for your siren call, google! Fear of the -50 shall keep me strong" - elf_of_dorath

"Condi. Oh right, she only wore the Iron Heel. And looked damn good in it. " - ataralas

"Jack London. The family rose to power through their dog training. It works on humans too." - illogicalvulcan

Correct Answer: Jack London



5. He was the son of Hecuba, lover of the daughter of Cybele, and killer of the son of Thetis. Who was this mythological figure?

"Apropos of nothing, all the names have six letters." - syrazemyla

(Paris! Number of the Beast! Who knew that Christian apocalyptic imagery came from the Greeks as well? -CV)

"You're asking us to unravel mythological geneology? Seriously? You might as well ask what the correct answer is when a girlfriend/wife asks the question 'Does this make me look fat?'" - i_calql8

(Oh, that's an easy one. The correct answer is "You'll be sleeping on the couch tonight you heartless bastard." Got any tough ones there? -CV)

"Is it cheating if I ask my Greek brother-in-law?...Never mind, he didn't know either." - queeniexb

"Hecked 'er? Damn near HELL'ed 'er!" - infinitysquared

"There are some that call him...'Tim'. " - ladyiapetus

"Indigo Montoya" - sestree

"Orlando Bloom. That sexy beast. No, wait, wait, it was Paris. What a wimp. " - ooyoumasha

"All I know about Hecuba is that she was Gabrielle's mother on Xena: Warrior Princess. And since I know most of my Greek mythology from Xena, you can probably see where I'm going with this..." - crystalcazzie

(Yeah, you're going straight to a big fat -1 for drawing your Greek Mythological Knowledge from Herc/Xena episodes. -CV)

"You killed Achilles! You bastard!" - photosinensis

"Testes, the ballsiest Greek hero in history" - littlelion2k

(I had a flatmate who had a rat that we named Testikles, so dubbed because of his colossal bits. But that's a whole different story. -CV)

"The Minotaur? Boy did he love him some young ladies. They had to lock him in a labyrinth so he'd stop sneaking in to teeny boppers rooms to smell their hairbrushes." - geenei

"Isn't it Attis? He went a bit ga-ga didn't he and cut off his own nadgers...mind you do you blame him? They aint the prettiest looking things!" - spiffington

(And, unsurprisingly, this week's spiffington Award for Complete Gibberish goes to... spiffington! Also, hee hee, nadgers. -CV)

"Paris, who killed Achilles by shooting him in the foot. It wasn't so much a pedicure as a pedikill." - iamza

"Paris, the ultimate example of a man lead around by the thoughts of his lower head. Men have been following that lead ever since." - deza

Correct Answer: Paris of Troy



6. How was your Halloween? Do anything crazy? Tell us about it!

"I really dislike Halloween. I meet enough fake people the other 364 days of the year." - drbear

(-1 to all Quizlings who couldn't wait until after Hallowe'en to answer at least this question. -LL)

"Lacking a TARDIS, I really can't say as yet. " - cygna_hima

"I wanted to dress up and go trick or treating but then again, people probably wouldn't give any candy to a 26yr old" - b_hulsmans

"I dressed up as a little girl in pajamas. There's a great picture of me standing next to the guy who came as Buttsex Man. " - jrho

"I went to bed knowing that I had an exam early the next day. Scariest night of my life. " - elvenpiratelady

"My Halloween will be spent playing Diablo II & watching zombie movies." - wiredwizard

(LOOKING FOR TREATS?!?!? -Baal)

"I spent my Halloween digging through my house after those damn walking tripod-things stomped it flat. Lousy Martians." - i_calql8

(Remember: if Orson Welles said it's so, then it is so. -CV)

"Yeah, I went fucking wild, got all psyched up, and...did my laundry and finished my linguistics homework. God, I'm pathetic. I need to get laid." - elf_of_doriath

(If there's anything I remember about being a linguistics major, it's that getting laid is definitely not one of the core requirements. Cunning linguist jokes be damned. -CV)

"My Halloween costume kicked serious ass. I glued a bunch of cardboard tubes to a cheap black outfit and presto! I was The Internet. And then it was peanut butter jelly time." - spatialrift47

"For my halloween, I killed enough brain cells to not remember any of the answers to the above five questions. Also, covered in blood, I screamed 'I WANT YOUR MEAT!' at enough people to lose my voice, forcing me to shake my head no when the occasional proffered penis was extended my way." - poo

"I dressed up as Jessica Rabbit, which was awesome. I played pattycake with every man (and some women) at the party. Though some people had no idea who Jessica Rabbit was, which makes me weep for their lost childhoods." - killabee886

"Well, we don't celebrate halloween in Aussieland, but we shouldn't anyway, cuz we're currently in Spring and halloween is the autumn pagan celebration, so Happy Beltane instead!!! Where's my maypole?" - sometimespez

"My neighbor didn't have any trick-or-treat candy, so he gave me a jumbo-sized bag of sour-cream and onion-flavored potato chips. And i was like, '...huh?'" - fictionalsolace

(I would gladly take that bag of chips. Yum. -CV)

"apparently watching Bravo's 100 scariest movie moments at 4 am was a bad idea because I couldn't fall asleep afterwards." - cold_clarity

"About fifteen years ago we got three feet of snow on Halloween. That kind of sucked." - LLEFSER

"I spent the night with doctors poking around my butt because of a staph infection." - kitsu_neko

(And the winner of the ljdq TMI Award this week is... kitsu_neko! -CV)

"Took the kids out trick or treating, then went out for Mexican food and headed home to the horror of musicwolf's digestive system after consuming Mexican food. Yeah, we live it up at our house. Woohoo, let the good times roll. " - deza

"The kid wore his costume for a whole fifteen minutes. Then he fell asleep. We are the party family, obviously." - aliaspiral

"My girlfriend and I made love to This is Halloween. 13 times." - napier

(I fear to ask whether you meant 13 times during a single playing of the song, because DAAAAAAAAAMN. -CV)



And there you have it. We followed American State Capitals with World Capitals, just to let you international types have a round outside of America. Aren't we fair and generous? Yes we are. Truly.

Thanks again to all who played; welcome back to quite a few names who have been absent for some time. We miss you all... unless you're in Pod Six, in which case you're jerks.

Thanks again to lovellama, who continues filling in for our combined laziness/business/otherness. And welcome new players!

Also, if you're planning on blowing up Parliament today, KNOCK IT OFF. That's mean. Go rent/read V for Vendetta instead; it'll take your mind off things.

Rock On!

AL&CV&LL