LJ Daily Answers: 17 September 2007

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Overall number of references to all things emo: 12395944. Yeah, yeah, /obvious.



1. Crazy lyrics time! Two different lyrics, same song name! Bonus points if you get both artists right!
"You touched my life/with a softness in the night/my wish was your command/until you ran out of love"
...and...
"Drivin' home this evening/I coulda sworn we had it all worked out/You had this boy believin'/Way beyond the shadow of a doubt"

"It's gotta be a country song. All their cheesy lyrics, these songs are about tractors, right?" - akiyasan

"the first one...uh...with the lack of rhyming and odd punctuation...ee cummings?" - vlvtjones

"Can I be the requisite answer of 'Sting' this time? Pretty please?" - raepixy3

(Sure. Someone's gotta do it, after all. -CV)

"I'm pretty sure that the song they are playing in the background of Viagra commercials" - becky_gardens

"ok thank you for getting Bryan Adams stuck into my head! Great way to star the workday! I wanna cut YOU like a knife!! " - jenny_1981

"Bryan Adams - the guilty pleasure heartthrob of the 80's. I love Canajians." - harleenquinzell

"Dunno the first, but the second one is most definitely Cuts Like A Knife by Bryan Adams (who is OMG forty-fucking-seven this year oh god I feel old). " - basking_lizard

"I would hate the lyric questions less if I ever knew any of the same songs you lot do. " - cmseward

"I read that first one as 'You touched my wife/ with the softness of a knife.' That's a whole different kind of song, huh? Maybe I need glasses. " - marasca

"Ooh! Ooh! Cuts Like a Ginsu!
...wait... " - girl_who_is1337

"Two singers singing a song with the same name, yet with different lyrics? I demand a CAGE MATCH to determine who gets to keep the title! Two falls out of three. " - spots1701
"two different lyrics, but the same song?!? this like a musical The Parent Trap did they realize they came from the same title at summer camp? Because I would totally watch that. " - killabe886

"I am puking from the overwhelming insipidness of those lyrics. When I'm done throwing up, I'm going to hire both Bryan Adams and Rockwell to go out to New Jersey and kick CV's ass!" - barbarienne

(Do you REALLY think I'm scared of Bryan Adams? -CV)

Correct Answer: "Cuts Like A Knife" by A) Rockwell and B) Bryan Adams



2. A green-blooded, color-changing, triple-hearted and potentially hyperintelligent Cephalopod? What is this thing?

"An octopus with not just eight legs, but eight adjectives. Get out of the thesaurus already! " - germankitty

"Krang, the bodiless brain from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, was totally hyperintelligent." - jrho

(True, although not really a Cephalopod. More of a symbiote. -CV)

"Your mom." - basking_lizard
"My stepmother." - raepixy3
"My Mother In Law." - becky_gardens
"My date last night." - lots42
"My first wife." - pyllgrum
"my friend's 2nd ex-wife" - killabee886

(Man, this thing really gets around... -CV)

"A distant cousin of the one-eyed, one-horned flying purple people eater. Either that or the Geico gecko. " - drbear

"Cthulhu" - uncut_diamond, cjtremlett, and a ton more. Ok, 13.

"Green-blooded! It's gotte ba a Spocktopus. " - nakedblueninja and several other Trekkies

"This thing here." - akiyasan

"I for one welcome our new Cephalopod overlords. " - tweetie

(+1, Simpsons – CV&AL&LL)

"Cthulu! Zoidberg! Squidward! The Giant Squid! Davy Jones! The Watcher in the Water! Henry the Octopus! The monster from that asian movie about giant squid! One of these has to be right. " - elvenpiratelady

(You forgot Oswald. – LL)

"'The chameleon got out of his habitat, will you help me look for him?'
'He's clinging to the back of your shirt.'
'What, really?!'
True story. " - exaggeratebliss

"I don't think I've seen enough Doctor Who to call this one. " - more_dragoncelt

Correct Answer: Cuttlefish



3. An article of clothing, the name of a witch, the name of a ship, and brand of Scotch whisky. What one name applies to all four?

"More importantly, which one floats in water because it weighs the same as a duck? We already know all four can burn...although only one burns going down, and then only if you do it right." - n5iln

"One of these things is not like the others, one of these things is not the same..." - katiebgood

"The only thing that comes to mind is the HMS Glenda Livet. " - dougygyro

"I do enjoy my Thong whiskey." - smokedglass7429

"Southern Comfort? No that's not right. Jack Daniels? Hmm not even close.. Johnnie Walker? Eesh... I have no idea, but now I'm thirsty. Damn you LJDQ!" - mistressjennfer

"enough whiskey and I'll take off my clothes and have sex with a witch on a ship." - becky_gardens

"Do I even want to know what a cutty sark looks like in terms of clothing? " - cjtremlett

(Yes, because apparently it's quite scanty – LL)

"Macgyver, because he could take all those things and save the world somehow. " - killabee886

"I bet there's C.S. 'Cutty Sark' Lewis fanfic out there about the white witch and Aslan getting drunk on a boat. Unfortunately, because it's fanfic, you know the article of clothing is probably 'droped to teh floor, ina puddle' or 'riped too shreads by the Powerfl Lions' pashonate clawz.' Honestly, I don't know what hurts more - the idea of Aslan porn or all that bad spelling." - morganashkevron

(I'm going with "Aslan porn". THE COLD SICK HORROR! -CV)

"Cutty Sark? Again? Didn't we see this answer a few eons back? And how DO you wear whiskey, or is this one of them R-18 bits of the quiz mommy always warned me about?" - ntlespino

(Yes, we had Cutty Sark as an answer once, long ago. And yes, this quiz is R-18. And yes, ntlespino, there is a Santa Claus. -CV)

"Cutty Sark is an article of clothing? What the hell is that? The lampshade on your head after drinking too much whiskey?" - liliana76

"Don't offer to toast the ship with a glass of Scotch any time soon, though, especially not around any National Heritage people. They have no sense of humour." - iamza

"Admit it, you just wanted someone to write 'The Cutty Sark sipped Cutty Sark on the Cutty Sark, wearing her Cutty Sark'." - germankitty

Correct Answer: Cutty Sark



4. What was "M*A*S*H" character B.J.'s last name?

"I am too young to have seen MASH. So I don't know anything about that show" - b_hulsman

(This better not be the beginning of an "I'm too young!" bitchfest… - CV&AL&LL)

"I call the age card and shall take my -50 points. " - unleashedfreak

(Damn, only 2 of you… - CV&AL&LL)

"I never got M*A*S*H. What is M*A*S*H and why is it so big? Does it involve a dance number like the Monster Mash does?" - shadowkeeper

(Probably a little dancing. Some cross-dressing too. -CV)

"It's not cheating if I go ransack my Dad's M*A*S*H novel collection and hand-Google it myself, right?" - ntlespino

(Sure, that's fine. Also, -1 to your dad for having M*A*S*H novels. -CV)

"Blazkowicz. But he fought Nazis, not the Viet Cong." - faeriedragon

(+1, Wolfenstein. Well done. -CV)

"And here below this comment, your federally mandated list of BJ jokes:" - slave_to_anime

(List truncated due to time constraints. Rest assured, it was impressive. -CV)

"as I unfortunately know from experience, BJs with honey turn out much worse in practice. Holy shit, does honey *not* wash out of your hair." - illogicalvulcan

"I always liked Hot Lips Hoolihan. Wait a minute... B.J.? Hot Lips? This show would never make it past today's censors!" - marasca

"Hunnicut had an awesome mustache. " - jrho

"Hunnicutt. That sounds like a ham, doesn't it...mmmmmm, ham..." - tweeti

"P. So on his nametags it said 'P, B.J.' Leading to the nickname 'Sandwhich', which he was between Hawkeye and Winchester" - uncut_diamond

"Homeycutt? Honicut? Honeycunt? Damn, without web cheating I don't know how to spell that. On the other hand, that last attempt at spelling has something going for it. " - judith_s

"Wonder what he did in that man's army to get the nickname B.J. " - sskipstress

"you know, now that I'm an adult 'BJ Honeycut' is kind of one long, weird sexual reference isn't it. Or maybe that's just me." - theninth

"I know this is wrong but I have managed to repress all memory of the countless 'M*A*S*H' episodes and can only think of 'and the Bear'. " - more_dragoncelt

Correct Answer: Hunnicut



5. In baseball, a fastball which breaks slightly as it reaches the home plate and can often break a lefty batter's bat is called what?

"Why you gotta be hatin' on the lefties? What did we southpaws ever do to you?" - jrho

(You know what you did. Don't play innocent with us. -CV)

"Well its not any pitch thrown by the Phillies pitching staff thats for sure." - umbralcorax

"A rapid exchange of $100 bills in the dugout." - barbarienne

"About a foot and a half low and nine inches too far over the plate to hit the stupid son of a bitch in the head." - etcet

"Violence in baseball? Cool. This somewhat makes up for all the whiny, self-abosrbed, small-balled millionaires." - lots42

"Baseball? That's the one with the wickets, right?" - theninth

"Wii Sports only lets me throw normal fastballs. So clearly, this mythical pitch cannot exist." - slave_to_anime

"I'm a Yankee person in Red Sox land. I don't talk about baseball." - shadowkeeper

(Especially not today. -CV)

"I can't answer because I visualized a fastball 'breaking a bat,' if you know what I mean, and now I can't unclench my legs." - drbear

"I can only guess something like "cut ball", and this just makes my testicles cringe in fear..." - jo_chan

"About a foot and a half low and nine inches too far over the plate to hit the stupid son of a bitch in the head. Real men play hockey. Baseball is two guys playing catch and one guy being a dick about it. " - ctcet

Correct Answer: Cutter



6. What do you need to cut from your life right about now?

"Like I said before, I work for Brinks. So I need to cut my honesty and integrity out of my life so I can cut myself in to many dozens of millions of dollars, and then cut out of my life completely to go buy myself a nice island in the sun and still and pretend M.A.S.H. units for ALL! And then I can learn to cut my homemade booze with paint thinner, too. " - nakedblueninja

"Trees. Then I shall go to the lavatory. On Wednesday, I'll go shopping, and have buttered scones for tea. I'll skip and jump, and press wild flowers. I'll put on women's clothing, and hang around in bars. 'Cause I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay. " - unleashedfreak

(+1, Monty Python – CV&AL&LL)

"Reality tv. Sadly I am completely sucked into America's Next Top Model and eagerly await the start of Cycle 9 next week." - jrho

(You get a -1. In fact, have a -2. -CV)

"About 200 mg of cholesterol. Damn gallstones." - i_calql8

"Exes" - uncut_diamond, wiredwizard

"My hair! This morning, it was wrapped around my neck. It's trying to kill me, I just know it." - vlvtjones

"My hair's self-esteem. Then maybe it would cut itself." - katiebgood

"Red Bull. I'm getting addicted to that stuff and it tastes like crap." - shadowkeeper

(Vodka improves the taste significantly. -CV)

"Pants. I do not require pants." - girl_who_is1337

"My teeth, they hurt, and this champagne induced hangover, it hurts too. Actually I hurt all over, just cut my whole body out, and transplant my brain in Chuck Norris's body. Chuck Norris knows no pain." - niroby

"I need to cut life out of my life. Eating, sleeping, homeworking and studying are cutting into my precious internet time. Therefore, away they go." - elvenpiratelady

"Well, there was this one time at band camp..." - n5iln



Cut! And print!

That's it for this quiz. Thanks again all for playing; we know that you studious types have gotten back to school and are working hard and not taking time off to quiz. We know that in a few weeks you're realize the folly of your ways and come back and play. It's ok; all the old folks are having a ball.

Stay tuned for more fun and excitement, only on the ljdq!

Rock on,

AL&CV&LL