LJ Daily Answers: 27 August 2007

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

It's time to head back to school, those of you who are still young enough to do that schooling thing. Whether high school, college, or various levels of grad school, it's all coming back now to haunt you. Prepare!



1. What is the oldest University in the UK?

"stonehenge" - b_hulsmans, uncut_diamond
"it was better than the the other henge universities. They tried Woodhenge and Stickhenge, but neither of them stood up." - pirho_maniac

"Old School" - jrho

"F.U.!!" - doomgirl

"Cheerioewhatwhatbridge-by-the-thames" - fizrep

"GUINNESS! GUINNESS! GUINNESS! What was the question?" - therealchon

(It's not really important; you're doing fine. -CV)

"St. Pretention's School for Delightfully Wayward Girls (and their even more delightfully wayward blouse buttons and hemlines)" - etcet

(Training for the oldest profession in the UK? – LL)

"The School of Hard Knocks" - six of you

"The one in Mick Jaggers Pants? 'The School of Ugly Knocks'" - writersblock_va

"There is no oldest university in the UK. They've all always existed, in order to provide Brits with intellectuality and tea." - elf_of_doriath

"School Motto: 'How can you have your pudding if you don't eat your meat?'" - thepikey

"Cambridge. Because it's the only one I know. Or is Cambridge in NEW England? Hm. As they say, fuck it, I'll be a stripper." - kokopellinelli

"Oxford. Or Cambridge. Whichever one Tolkein and Lewis both taught at." - hippiedancer

Correct Answer: Oxford University

"I always felt cheated me- there are no oxen there." - allie_the_neko



2. Which two adventure-prone teens attended San Dimas High School?

"Thompson Twins. Is it the Thompson Twins? Please say it's the Thompson Twins." - agirlwithavoice
"The Hardy Boys" - wiredwizard, ntlespino, oboe_dude
"The Bobbsey Twins: All Grown Up." - girl_who_is1337

"Hank and Dean Venture?" - thepikey, blindgeoff

"If it didn't say "two", I would have said the Scooby Doo gang, though I don't think they ever went to school..." - fullmetalkatu
"I wish it had been Fred and Velma from Scooby Doo. And that they'd, like, met the others on a mission to go find weed or something." - ANONYMOUS

"Marty McFly and Ferris Bueller. Yeah, I know, but c'mon. " - spatialrift47

"Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan." - drbear

"Lewis and Clark" - ANONYMOUS

"Jake and Elwood Blues, no relation." - armethis

"T-Rex and Utahraptor" - alejandradd

"Keanu 'Typecast' Reeves and Alex 'Whatever happened to that guy who played Bill?' Winter." - chlaal

"Romy & Michelle? Bill & Ted? Harry & Hermione? Frick & Frack? Barnes & Barnes? Itchy & Scratchy? Pork & Beans? Salt 'n Pepa? Charles & Diana? Eek & Meek? Bob & Carol? & Ted & Alice? Cagney & Lacey? (Am I getting warm?)" - stagemanager

"My friend and I used Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey to learn Hungarian by watching it with subtitles. Did you know that 'haver' means 'dude'?" - crystalcazzie

(I had no idea, haver! -CV)

"I remember making my mom buy a box of Bill and Ted cereal so that I could get the cassette tape holder shaped like a phone booth that came with it. The cereal was gross." - jrho

"Who knew that seeing Keanu Reeve's ass in Matrix 2 would make me gag with a spoon?" - akiyasan

"My Shakespeare teacher once said that Keanu Reaves was the one low point of Kenneth Branaugh's Much Ado About Nothing. Evidently, Reaves saying "The most exquisite Claudio" was enough to send him into Bill and Ted flashbacks." - hippiedancer

"That movie also answers the question: 'What was the TARDIS up to in between the old and the new Doctor Who-series?'" - crisiks

"I WENT TO SDHS!!! Yay! This was a personal shout-out to me, right? Our football team sucked by the way. People can stop with the "San Dimas High School football rules!" any time now." - queeniexb

Correct Answer: Bill S. Preston, Esquire and Ted "Theodore" Logan

"WYLD STALLYNZ! (air guitar!)" - many of you. But not enough. Everyone else go watch "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure", or you get a -1 on every quiz you ever do from now on.



3. Fun with lyrics! Name the song and the artist:
Well we got no choice
All the girls and boys
Makin all that noise
'Cause they found new toys

"'Chinese Toy Recall', by Delicious but Deadly." - csi_tokyo3

"That would be a catchy advertising jingle for an adult store." - jrho, opium_lips
"Is that a song about sex toys?" - smokedglass7429
"Hehe... toys... hehe…bow chicka wow wow" - allie_the_neko

"[SERIOUSLY NSFW, DO NOT CLICK THIS AT WORK GUYS LIEK WH0A]" - etcet

"Am I the first person to make a Sting joke, or the 84560th?" - shinga, who is indeed making the first Sting joke

"Sting. It's the new 42." - ecarrotsushi

"'The Childrens Lament' - Michael Jackson Choir" - writersblock_va

"Are we smoking bongs now?" - droptheleash622

"Schoolhouse Rock" - oboe_dude

(No, but that was a good one. We'll have to save that. -CV)

"Yet another of those song lyrics that sounds a bazillion times sexier if sung by Barry White." - i_calql8

"For some reason, the first thing to pop into my head was 'Hot for Teacher,' which I know is wrong (especially since I stumbled on the right answer while perusing the web for self-referential songs), but now it's stuck in my head, so that's my answer. I probably shouldn't post this, as my friends will all mock me for my predictable crushes on older authority figures. Also, I should stop humming "Hot for Teacher" in the office. People are giving me odd looks." - illogicalvulcan

"Man, somebody needs to tell the songwriter that there are other rhyming sounds besides 'oys'. What are the next lines?
Yeah, they lost their poise
All the girls and boys
playing with the kois
those splashy, fishy toys" - iamza

"As a child, I liked 'School's Out', by Alice Cooper, even though I thought it was kinda radical (We might not come back at all?? Huh??). I did not, however, like 'Another Brick in the Wall Part II' by Pink Floyd. Out for summer is one thing, but 'We don't need no education'??? What corrupt children these must be! And such bad grammar!" - hippiedancer

"Alice Cooper - School's Out Forever, which is a filthy LIE because it's followed by university! Which, granted, isn't as bad as secondary school, but still. " - dracothelizard

"Alice Cooper, the only guest who looked more like a Muppet monster than the Muppet monsters." - sskipstress

"I know this one, and I know also that it isn't "School's Out" by Alice Cooper. (And if it is, I'll eat my shorts.)" - stagemanager

(Commence the consumption of cut-off corduroys. -CV)

Correct Answer: Alice Cooper, "School's Out"

"I wish school was out forever, then I wouldn't have just wasted $500 on books." - elf_of_doriath



4. Septima Vector, Aurora Sinistra, and Rolanda Hooch are all instructors at which fabled school?

"Miskatonic!" - writersblock_va, maid_line, illogicalvulcan

"H. P. Lovecraft's Misogynistech Universtity." - lightning_rose

"What's our vector, Victor? Do you have clearance, Clarence?" - etcet

(+1, Airplane. -CV)

"I wonder if Professor Vector had six older siblings and unoriginal parents." - crystalcazzie

"The Academy of Unfortunately Named People" - i_calql8

"These sound like the binomial nomenclature you'd see in the fabled Museum of Mathematics, Meteorology, and Inappropriate Colloquialisms." - ANONYMOUS

"With those names, it sounds like stripper college. But then she'd be a deviated Septima." - drbear

"Vixena Vector, Sexella Sinistra, and Hoochy-Koochy Hooch are all instructors at the fabled Pigslut School of Sexcraft and Orgies. Fanfiction is a sad, sad thing, but parody porno movies are hilarious." - woap

"This really seems like it should be Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft, but I don't actually recognize any of those names. Perhaps it is a parody. Or perhaps I am merely out-thinking myself." - rikchik

"Hooch! That's fun to drink." - akiyasan
"Hooch! I bet it was the 1-800-bartend school." - ferociousjeanne

"Yolanda Cooch teaches at James Bond Sex Bunny State. Pretty large enrollment, except during the Roger Moore years." - thepikey

"St. Brutus' School for Criminally Insane Boys" - csi_tokyo3

"Hogwarts or Sweet Valley High. I have a hard time keeping the two seperate." - blindgeoff

"Did you know JK Rowlings is writing a crime novel, now? Detective Gary Sotter is confused when a muggle someone is killed by an ear plummeting to the ground at terminal velocity." - iamza

Correct Answer: Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry



5. What group of 16th century artists, including Titian, were especially known for the rich glowing tones of their paintings?

"just because I'm about to be a Master of Arts doesn't mean I actually KNOW anything about art." - dracothelizard

"Radoactive Lad and the Elementals?" - writersblock_va

"they made some great movies about it... Clash of the Titians, Remember the Titian's..." - confessionalbox

"Art history SUCKS! It's one of the several reasons I'll never go to college for art. I like drawing, I don't necessarily like other people who like drawing, especially when they've been dead for hundreds of years. Good riddance you crazy old coots." - shinga

"The Pre-Raphaelite School! They liked heaving bosoms on fair skinned maidens....hey, I could've been a Pre-Raphaelite superstar!" - hippiedancer

"My knowledge of italian Rennaissancists sadly limits itself to Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo and Raphael, so unless there was a school of Teenage Mutant Ninja Painters, I'm off game." - crisiks

"They would have been all about the black light painting had they lived today." - jrho

"The Backlight Boys." - spatialrift47

"Glowing? Would these be the opium ingesting painters? I want my paintings to glow." - elf_of_doriath

"For the last time - Uranium is not a paint additive! Use lead like everyone else! Yeesh!" - spotts1701

"Hehe, 'Titian'..." - yes, several of you
"Titian Rap: 'I like big rich glowing tones and I cannot lie! You other 16th century artists can't deny!'" - chaal
"I could go for a rich, glowing pair of Titians right about now. It's been a loooooooong week." - etcet
"My Titians have rich, glowing tones, and they are FABULOUS." - unamundamour

"It's pronounced Ti-shun? Well damn, that sorta takes all the fun out of his name." - slave_to_anime

"The Venetian School. Which I always think sounds as if they teach you how to gracefully get in and out of gondolas, where to find the best fresh fish and a penchant for holding bizarre art festivals." - liseuse

Correct Answer: The Venetian School

"not to be confused with the glorious and wonderful Venetian Pool." - soloecal



6. If you could major in any subject, real or imaginary, what would it be?

"being an evil mastermind" - feywood, timydamonkey

"Is 'Bad-assery' an option? I would love to be a professional bad-ass. Perhaps a minor in kick-ass would be appropriate..." - fullmetalkatu

"Anybody offering a major in Rock Stardom? I imagine that, besides the obvious things such as playing an instrument and songwriting, you'd also get to take classes such as Hotel Room Trashing 150." - agirlwithavoice

"Being As Cool As The Goddamn Batman... I don't think anyone would ever pass though. It just couldn't be done. But dammit, I'd try. I'd even fork out the cash for a belt that holds everything I'll ever need. And I'd sit up on top of a building and brood for days just to get that extra credit. And just to suck up to the Professors even more, I'd take my own Robin around everywhere with me. But just to keep with tradition I'd make it a new one every week. Yup. That'd be awesome." - shinga

"The Art of Fighting Crime While Looking Really Badass in Tights and Spandex. I think they offer it at UCLA." - girl_who_is1337

"Does 'lunch, LJDQ and pretty-boy actors' asses' count as a triple major?" - jessicamark

(Yes, as chaosvizier might be pretty, but he's not an actor. We're not touching his ass – AL&LL)

"The Intimate Architecture of Irish Pubs - Natural Setting and Worldwide Facsimilies." - ghymoreid

"Chocolate, of course. Instead of a syllabus, there'd be a tasting menu. And instead of writing a dissertation, you'd host a fondue party. Afterwards, you and your advisor would get together and slather each other's bodies with chocolate sauce and...oops, no wait, that's my minor." - chlaal

"I'm going to major in winning the powerball... and splitting the winnings with chaosvizier and angledge (70/30 sound fair?)." - umbralcorax

(You all read it here first: 30% of his cash are belong to us. -AL&CV)

"I was baptized under St. Joseph of Cupertino, who is the patron saint of bad students. Thus, I am disqualified from answering this question." - illogicalvulcan

"Useless trivia!" - ceralaith

"Liev Schrieber." - unamundamour

"Ninja Studies. That would be freaking awesome." - photosinensis

"Pirate-Ninjitsu-Breakdancing. Just think about it, let it roll off your tongue. Maybe I'm just ahead of my time." - drmutant

"I'd major in math - it's both real AND imaginary. Not even Wal-Mart has bargains that good." - spatialrift47

"I'd be an art major, if it wouldn't leave me poor, desolate, several thousand dollars in debt, with no good job opportunities, and a superiority complex." - elf_of_doriath

"Punning. I so need to hone my craft." - i_calql8

"A dual major in Your Mom and Lolcat, with minors in Soviet Russian and All Your Base, because I'm a go-getter like that." - maid_line

"Alchemy. Seriously, base metals into gold would totally take care of all those nasty student loans." - oboe_dude



And there we go. angledge and chaosvizier are currently incredibly tired and achy pandas, having just spent far too much time this weekend doing completely crazy things with people crazy enough to be our local batch of friends. And yet, so much crazy fun was had by all. Hopefully we'll be back and ready tomorrow with more quiztacular goodness. See you all then!

Rock On!

AL&CV&LL